Mark's Notebook

Mark's advice for newlyweds

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Two are better than one;
because they have a good reward for their labor.

For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow.
But woe to him that is alone when he falls;
and there is not another to help him up.

Also, if two lie together, then they have warmth;
but how can one be warm alone?

And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him;
and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

Two are better together if they lift one another up when they fall. But if they do not help each other, but pick at each other instead of lifting each other up, then their lives will be bitter.

Even better than a marriage of two is a marriage of three. A marriage in today's world will be constantly under attack by the media and the so-called norms of society. Don't be deceived by false views of marriage, romance, manhood, or womanhood as presented by Playboy, HBO, movies, the New York Times op-ed page, or radical feminism. When your marriage is under attack, it needs to hold together like a rope made of three strands braided together. The third strand is Jesus. When Jesus remains an integral part of your marriage, it cannot fail.

The only way for a marriage to work is if the husband lives to serve his wife and if the wife lives to serve her husband. Ephesians 5 is the "marriage submission passage" we all love to hate. In most basic terms, the scripture simply means that the wife should love and serve her husband the same way the church loves and serves Jesus, and the husband should love and serve his wife the same way Jesus loves and serves the church. There is no difference. Jesus gave everything, his very life, to save the world. In response, the faithful give everything to serve Jesus. In the same way, the husband and wife must give up everything in order for their marriage to work over the long run.

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Last updated Monday 3 August 2009