Mark's Notebook

Hometown Boy Falls From Bicycle, Scores Guest Appearance On "ER"

San Jose - Tuesday October 12, 2004

Milpitas resident Mark "Mixed-Up" Brautigam fell from his bicycle Tuesday near the DMV office in Willow Glen, and was whisked by paramedics to San Jose Hospital for treatment of a hip fracture.

After falling, the intrepid cyclist first called his wife Mary, then called 911, and was able to make one last quick call to Calvary Chapel San Jose before his cell phone battery gave up the ghost. At CCSJ, Mr. Brautigam contacted Kathy Acomb, who immediately organized a prayer watch for the weekly Tuesday evening men's and women's bible studies.

After hauling himself to the sidewalk, but unable to stand, Mr. Brautigam ventured back into the street to retrieve his bicycle, which was hindering traffic. The blocked SUV was driven by a soccer mom, who didn't bother to call 911 because she was late for practice.

Regarding the injured cyclist, Willow Glen merchant E. B. White said, "He's a doofus." Local resident Charles Parham said "He's always been a klutz." Pastor Chuck Smith of Calvary Chapel was reported to have said, "These older guys just have to realize they can't do these tricks forever. At some point they have to make way for the younger folks to take over." Elderly resident Joseph Smith said, "These crazy guys just barrel through here like a bat out of a deep place, knocking everyone else over. He deserved what he got."

The 48 year old Mr. Brautigam, who was going over 2 MPH at the time of the fall, said, "Ow! Ow! Ow!"

Paramedics said the cyclist's injuries looked like bruises but no broken bones. But they took Mr. Brautigam to the San Jose Hospital emergency room, where x-rays revealed a fracture in the neck of the femur. Surgery commenced at 7:00 pm. After being administered a spinal injection, Mr. Brautigam's next words were reportedly "Ow! Ow! Ow!" as surgeons began to slice into the hip muscle. In response to this unforeseen circumstance and the patient's constant humorous chatting with the operating room staff, the doctors administered general anesthesia in order to shut him up.

The patient emerged two and a half hours later with enough titanium in his hip to trip every airport security system between here and Toronto.

Recent word from Hollywood is that Mr. Brautigam's nude scenes on "ER" were left on the cutting room floor. Fortunate indeed.

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Last updated Tuesday 13 May 2008