Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: jks2x AT fermi.clas.virginia.edu (Jason K. Schechner)
Subject: TQM from on high
Date: Thu, 29 Jun 95 19:30:04 EDT
GOD'S TOTAL QUALITY MANAGEMENT QUESTIONNAIRE 3/3/95
God would like to thank you for your belief and patronage. In order
to better serve your needs, He asks that you take a few moments to
answer the following questions.
Please keep in mind that your responses will be kept completely
confidential, and that you need not disclose your name or address
unless you prefer a direct response to comments or suggestions.
1. How did you find out about God?
__ Newspaper __ Other Book
__ Television __ Divine Inspiration
__ Word of mouth __ Near Death Experience
__ Bible __ Other
__ Torah (specify): _____________
2. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition
to God? Please check all that apply.
__ Tarot __ Lottery
__ Horoscope __ Television
__ Fortune cookies __ Ann Landers
__ Self-help books __ Sex
__ Biorythms __ Alcohol or drugs
__ Mantras __ Other: _____________________
__ Insurance policies __ None
3. God employs a limited degree of Divine Intervention to preserve the
balanced level of felt presence and blind faith. Which would you
prefer (circle one)?
a. More Divine Intervention
b. Less Divine Intervention
c. Current level of Divine Intervention is just right
d. Don't know
4. God also attempts to maintain a balanced level of disasters and
miracles. Please rate on a scale of 1 - 5 his handling of the
following (1=unsatisfactory, 5=excellent):
a. Disasters (flood, famine,
earthquake, war) 1 2 3 4 5
b. Miracles (rescues, spontaneous
remission of disease, sports
upsets) 1 2 3 4 5
5. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving
the quality of God's services? (Attach an additional sheet if
necessary): _________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
______________________________________________________________________
Thank you!