Translating Southern United States to English 
---------------------------------------------------------- 

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." 
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida. 
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."

MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd 
from him in munts."

IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni." 
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - noun. A tool.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my 
       brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup 
       truck."

FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my 
       pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."

BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back 
       to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"

TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a 
       flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to 
       see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ. 
HOD - adverb. Not easy.
Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix." 

RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65." 

TARRED - adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred." 

RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats." 

LOT - adjective. Luminescent.
Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair." 

FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn 
       country."

DID - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA). 
Usage: "He can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!"

BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence." 

JU-HERE - a question.
Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson 
       recently toured the University of Alabama?"

HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert." 

SEED - verb, past tense.
VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?" 

HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action. 
Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"

GUMMIT - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution. 
Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!"