Date: Fri, 15 Apr 94 19:30:06 EDT
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: jelson AT condor.cs.jhu.edu (Jeremy Elson)
Subject: FOOTOS -- A Guide to Modern Operating Systems 


This was inspired by the recent file making its rounds on the Net describing
how to shoot yourself in the foot in a variety of programming languages.
Now, the madness is extended to operating systems.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------


Unix

    You shoot yourself in the foot.
 
DOS

    You keep running up against the one-bullet barrier.
 
MS-Windows

    The gun blows up in your hand.
 
Windows NT

    The gun is so huge and unwieldy that you have to keep swapping
    it from one hand to the other.
 
OS/2

    The gun and the bullet aren't speaking to each other any more.
 
Mac Finder

    It's easy to shoot yourself in the foot -- just point and shoot.
 
AIX

    You can shoot yourself in the foot with either a .38 or a .45.

IRIX

    The Terminator shoots you in the foot.  A T-Rex bites your other 
	foot.

SVR4

    The gun isn't compatible with your foot.
 
Minix

    You learn how to shoot yourself in the foot with a Saturday 
    Night Special.
 
Linux

    Generous programmers from around the world all join forces to help
    you shoot yourself in the foot for free.
 
HURD

    You'll be able to shoot yourself in the foot Real Soon Now.
 
VM/CMS

    IBM shoots you in the foot.
 
VMS

    \FOOT\ ambiguous: supply more toes.
 
AMIGA-DOS

    The gun works pretty well, except that few people use one and
    it's impossible to find bullets.

Mach

    The bullets work pretty well, but they don't make guns for it any 
	more.

Cray

    You shoot yourself in the foot with an Uzi.
 
MasPar

    You shoot all of your friends' feet simultaneously.