Top 20 Engineers' Terminologies

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                   Top 20 Engineers' Terminologies
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1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED 
 - We are still pissing in the wind.

2. EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM 
 - We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

3. CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION
 - We know who to blame.

4. MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH
 - It works OK, but looks very hi-tech. 

5. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED
 - We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered. 

6. PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE 
 - The damn thing blew up when we threw the switch. 

7. TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING
 - We are so surprised that the stupid thing works. 

8. THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED
 - The only person who understood the thing quit. 

9. IT IS IN THE PROCESS
 - It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless. 

10. WE WILL LOOK INTO IT
 - Forget it! We have enough problems for now. 

11. PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL
 - Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up. 

12. GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING
 - We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't 
   interfere with what we've already done.

13. GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION
 - I can't wait to hear this load of bull! 

14. SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS
 - Come into my office, I'm lonely. 

15. ALL NEW
 - Parts not interchangeable with the previous design. 

16. RUGGED
 - Too damn heavy to lift!

17. LIGHTWEIGHT
 - Lighter than RUGGED.

18. YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT
 - One finally worked.

19. ENERGY SAVING
 - Achieved when the power switch is off. 

20. LOW MAINTENANCE
 - Impossible to fix if broken.

Last updated Thursday 21 January 2010